Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
mbones2 4 year.agoA woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” "We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!” “United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?” "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Taste.” "Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.” "We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.” "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. ”You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.” A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of United’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and we had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on us hand and foot.. And the Taste hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!” "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope.” "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..” "Oh, really! What'd he say?” He said: "Who screwed up your hair?
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Tell her your wife wants abortion rights. Then tell her its because the baby is a girl.
One is on the cover of Playboy and the other is on the cover of National Geographic.
They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
Some of them are white.
“Every morning my husband and I pass each other in the hall and say, ‘Fuck you!’"
I didn't see the driver so I'm not going to assume what gender she was.
Everytime they get a corner they open a store
It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.
They only put their hands on one to twelve. (Probably been done before)
Okay, so I've been collecting various offensive jokes. I have several jokes for pretty much every demographic I can think of, except for white people. This is where you guys come in. Tell me all your best white people jokes. In exchange, here are some of my favorite jokes I've collected so far: __Jews__ What do you call a Jew that can fly? Smoke. Where do black Jews come from? The oven. Who invented copper wire? Two Jews fighting over a penny. Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill. What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can finish a race. What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips. What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? A Boy Scout comes back from camp. Why are Jews circumcised? Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 20% off. __Blacks__ Why did the black third grader have a bigger dick than everybody else? He was 23. How do you starve a nigger to death? Hide his food stamps under his work boots. What's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead nigger in the middle of the road? Swerve marks. How do they make roads in South Africa? They make niggers lay down and have every other one smile. What do you do when you see a black guy with half a face? Stop laughing and reload. Why do black guys have bigger dicks than white guys? Because white guys had toys to play with as kids. Why are there only two pallbearers at a nigger's funeral? Trash cans only have two handles. Why weren't there any blacks in the Flintstones? They were still monkeys. __Mexicans__ What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? One can raise a child. What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower? Unemployed. What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country. What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support a family. What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest? Alien vs. Predator. What do you call a Mexican with no arms? Trustworthy. What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? One can feed a family of four. I've got more if you guys want.
Because kids say the darnest things
Optimistic!
Prophets are going through the roof!
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
An auction
at least thats what she told her friends.
There once a thug named brown, who bum rushed a cop with a frown, six bullets later, he met his creator, and his homies burnt down the town
/r/MeanJokes
Doubling Down
Once it starts bleeding it's time to flip her over to the brown side
The lights out. How can you count them?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick
Reverse racism is when you back up over him again after.
I'd say Hillary. According to Bill, she never goes down.
Mediterranean Sea
Little Johnny wakes up one night hearing strange noises from his parent's bedroom. He opens the door to his parents room and sees mom, handcuffed to the bed's headboard, dad ramming her from behind. Johnny screams. Dad turns to looks at him, laughs and gives mom a slap on the bum for good measure. Johnny runs away, screaming. Once dad has finished mom off, he uncuffs her. She immediately says, 'You better go tell Johnny everything is OK, the shit he just saw could scar him for life". Dad rolls his eyes and begrudgingly agrees. Pulls on his robe and heads for Johnny's room only to find it's empty. He then heads for the TV room but when he passes the guest room, he notices the door is ajar, noises coming from inside. He opens the door to look in and sees Granny on her hands and knees, little Johnny fucking her from behind. Dad screams. Johnny turns around looks at him and says "Yeah, not so funny when it's your mom huh?"
At least he died doing the thing he loved, painting the walls.
To know which way his parents went.
They kill your dog.
more jokes Here waiting for you
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